Narcissistic mother and its negative impact… To learn more about the concept of narcissism, the following are some of the symptoms that this personality carries; Excessive sense of self-importance to the point of vanity Preoccupation with delusions of unlimited success, strength, intelligence, beauty, or perfect love Feeling deserving of special treatment Taking advantage of others Lack of empathy Envy or belief in others Arrogant behavior.
Narcissistic mother and its negative impact
Narcissistic mother and its effect on her daughter
A narcissistic mother knows in advance that she has absolute power over everyone, especially her daughter. With her demanding and unsatisfying personality, she gradually strips the girl from a childhood of her self-confidence. The tone of her voice and the way she treats her are sending continuous messages that her daughter has no power or opinion before her orders and instructions.
It is like a competition where the mother works to prove herself and her strength at the expense of her daughter, who is not equal to the competition in the first place, direct and continuous sarcastic criticism about everything that was said and done during the day is a daily procedure for the narcissistic mother of her daughter, not just to prove herself in front of her, and this is what makes it difficult for The girl is to express her abilities, feelings, and desires, as she is always accompanied by fear of judgments and frustrating comments that she used to hear.
The home becomes a prison for the daughter, and her personal skills, especially independence and spontaneity, are destroyed. Even when the mother praises something her daughter has done, her looks and the way she talks always expose her because she always has a buried sarcastic comment or a direction that should be adopted.
Narcissism identifies with the obsession with perfection. None of your beautiful behavior or spontaneity will satisfy her. You will always find fault and blame. A narcissistic mother by nature refuses to support her daughter’s opinions and decisions. She always has something to add and change for her. No one – especially her daughter – is more knowledgeable about things. Narcissistic mother Sarcasm and laughter depend on your actions and even your secrets and thoughts that you share with her as an expression of your lack of maturity and experience in life, emphasizing the impossibility of your success without her.
You can never be enough for a narcissistic mom. No matter how much you achieve, your creativity and intelligence will not be appreciated. A narcissistic mother is the queen of posing and can easily convince many that she is a wonderful person and an ideal mother when she is not. This type of personality is simply not qualified to be a mother unless you are treated for the mental illness you carry.
So how do you break free and gain your self-esteem again?
Set healthy boundaries
Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and caring. But narcissists are not capable of reciprocity in their relationships. They neither see nor hear but themselves. They don’t recognize you as someone who exists outside of their own needs. Because of this, narcissists regularly violate the boundaries of others. What’s more, they do so with an absolute sense of entitlement. A narcissistic, control-obsessed mother is constantly telling you what to think and feel. There aren’t many solutions available for dealing with a narcissistic mother. You can just try setting boundaries to regain control.
Think in a nice way
Because you will have to calm down your mom by pointing out her abusive behavior, try to get your message across as calmly, respectfully, and as gently as possible. Focus on how her behavior makes you feel, rather than on her motives and intentions. If she responds with anger and defensiveness, try to stay calm. Walk away if necessary and postpone the conversation to a later time.
People with narcissism are so resistant to the idea of changing their behavior that even when it causes them problems, they are more likely to blame others. What’s more, they are very sensitive and react poorly to even the slightest criticism or controversy which they consider personal attacks. So it’s often easier to just keep up with their demands to avoid getting cold and angry.
You can also read and learn more about this type of personality, to identify the narcissists in your life, protect yourself from their influence and have the ability to deal with them. Since you’ll be in a lasting relationship with your narcissistic mom, rest assured that she won’t turn out to be someone who truly appreciates you, so you’ll need to look elsewhere for emotional support and personal fulfillment from either the father if you’re lucky and you get along or the siblings.
Spend time with people who give you comfort and the ability to be yourself.
Make new friends, find meaning and purpose in work, volunteering, and hobbies.
Do meaningful activities that make use of your talents.
Focus on your dreams. Instead of losing yourself in focusing on the narcissist in your life, focus on the things that you want for yourself.
- What do you want to change in your life? What abilities do you want to develop? What illusions do you need to give up to create a more productive reality?