People Gossiping: Gossip is an informal story or conversation about the lives of others. Most of the time it is not good stuff. It is unkind. The purpose is to destroy and hurt the victim at this point. The purpose is not to build up, but to tear down and make the person feel uncomfortable and small, and to belittle the person. People gossiping around hurts everyone’s life.
There is no validation or truth in the details the people discuss. The goal is to leave the person naked and with nothing to hide. It is destructive and can crush the person if we are not careful. We need to be accurate in our response. If gossip has affected you, then this is for you. You need to read it.
If gossip and slander never affected you, well, but you still need to read it. You may come across it in the future. It has affected many lives. And to be honest, sometimes gossip stings like a bee or a scorpion. You have to approach it positively. So I am going to give you some pieces of advice that can help you overcome it. I think they will help you too.
Dealing with gossips
If you have something the other person does not have, they may try to say unkind things about something you have. That may be your car. The fact that you have something they do not evokes jealousy. They try to find what is wrong with what they cannot afford. Sometimes wishing something would happen to one person is the other source. They wish for something to happen. It may be the wish for the couple’s marriage to fail.
When the desire for growth in life weakens, we will stagnate and settle where we are. But there is more to it than that. We can wish other people who are improving and changing their lives to do the same if they take the necessary action. We can try to stop them and disrupt them. People who are not focused on their lives tend to focus on others. They search and explore what might be missing in their lives. At the very least, they try to improve themselves. No one is perfect. They do not just focus on the lives of others. They also want people to focus on them. That they pay attention to what they think is wrong in your life.
There are three parties to make it complete: the person speaking, the listener(s), and the victim.
The person who is blathering thinks that saying negative things about others will cause that person to lose value. In most cases, the person you are speaking in front of about your victim sees it differently.
The victim may be lonely for a while. Things and attitudes of the group saying negative things about them. The person who isolates themselves is the person doing the slandering. People are not willing to spend time with a negative person. You wonder why you are lonely. Gossip may be the source of it. People who gossip never make peace.
They have now enjoyed the gossip and are satisfied by saying what they wanted to say. They feel better for a while. After that, the guilt takes over. They also find themselves in a kind of bondage. The information or things they said might become known or spread. Then the person will confront them. So whenever that person is with the person they talked to, they are worried. They think that the person will soon know everything.
Imagine you are supposed to attend class or work or a seminar, whatever requires your attention. And it starts in the next forty-five minutes, ok, what do you do? You are in a group. There comes this chatty woman or co-worker. The other one goes to a classroom or restroom and does not join the group. Then the chatty woman brings up a topic about her. It goes on and on like this. Then you have only five minutes before the exam begins.
Now it is time for the exam. You need to take at least ten minutes before you focus on your exam. Sometimes you even need to take more than five minutes. Why is that? Because you first need to digest the information about the girl who was the victim in the tabloids. You need to meditate on it and process it. After that, you will try to regroup and focus.
This is why students who gossip do not do well in school. It does not mean they are not smart. It just means they cannot focus. They have other things to process before they can focus in the classroom.
Gossiping loses friends
Gossiping causes a person to lose friends. No one will ever enjoy being around someone negative, who is always trying to find something wrong in the lives of others. People who gossip will end up being lonely. And sometimes their friends will not want to invite them to any event anymore.
They do not want their company because they have a negative attitude. Sometimes they will not want to go to the movies with them, or even to the shopping complex because they are just fed up with the garbage they hear from time to time.
No one can trust someone who speaks or says negative things about other people. There is no trust at all. And for a person who gossips to become trustworthy again, it takes time. The saddest thing for the non-trust is that they may not even hear it, because gossip happens in secret, so the victim cannot find out.
Men do not want women who gossip
This certainly comes as a shock. What does this have to do with men? With women! Men are sensitive. He sees you as someone immature. From his point of view, you are not ready to start a family. People gossiping with each other is never good.
He will not be able to afford to get involved in this mess. His wife is a busybody and his family is in trouble. Maybe we should examine why we are still single.
Here is how to respond to gossip.
Be brave enough to tell the person you are not interested in gossip. Since the person is brave enough to speak their mind, be free too. You can also change the subject.
Suggest that you call the person. Whatever they are not happy about needs to be clarified. And you will find that you will shock them. They’ll respect you. Next time they will not try that again.
Get out of the person’s way. Let them know you have other commitments and things that need your attention. The time you should spend with the person gossiping is five minutes or less. People gossiping can cause a bad atmosphere.
Tell them to focus on improving themselves as you do.
If you are the victim, know that this is not about you. It’s about that person, their insecurities, and their frustrations. You are doing better in life. That’s why they cannot stand the pain of seeing how you are doing. Do not try to get all the details they have said about you.