Genuine friendships are usually hard to come by these days, that is why you need genuine friendships to keep you grounded and grow at your own pace. In the world of Social media, the pressure is on to be someone else until you forget who you truly are.
An article by Khola Usman defines in detail the definition of friendships through her life story. To have a good genuine friend you have to make an effort to build it to where you want it to be. Shasta Nelson said in her Ted talk in 2017 that we should have more genuine friendships rather than picking and dropping friends all the time you need to have intimacy. To achieve this you will need three things: vulnerability, positivity, and consistency. Here is a link to get to dive deep into that.
Today, I will share a few steps to building genuine friendships with people. A friend who you will come to love for who there are and how you impact them. Good friends are hard to come by but they are not impossible to find. Follow these steps and you will be well on your way.
1. Be Your genuine self
This is definitely a hard one but necessary. With this simple rule, you will attract people who like you. What you believe in, what you value and what you like. With this kind of trait, you will have a lot in common, and building a friendship will be a good start. At this stage, you also have to pick and choose the people you want in your life. You look at trust, positivity, and how you can impact them in their lives.
2. Be Open and Vulnerable
It is not only them that have to be open. You do too. Building a genuine friendship is two-way traffic. Let your guard down a little. Introduce them to your other friends and family. Observe how they relate and react to your environment and you visit their place meet his/her people to see how he/she relates in his/her comfort zone. You truly learn someone with how they treat their family, your family, and strangers. Also here, be willing to be vulnerable with your thoughts about things that are controversial like politics and activities. This will help to build trust.
3. Help your friends genuinely
There comes a point your friend needs help. It can be: financial, emotional, and mental. Help them the best way you can. Offer that service and do not expect it back. If they are genuine friends they will pay you back in a different or better way. Helping out is usually taken out of context that if I help you will have to return the favor. In genuine friendships, it doesn’t work that way.
4. Be open-minded to your friends
To get to know someone better, you have to be open-minded. Do not judge their thoughts or point of view. Listen to understand and not to respond. Know where they are coming from and why they think the way they do. It will show them that you see their perspective and you are not judging them. In the end, you don’t have to agree with them but you do have to understand them.
5. Forgive your friends genuinely.
You definitely know you are not perfect. So you have to know that your friendships will not be either, you are different individuals. You will fight, disagree and at times fall out and it is okay. But having the strength to forgive and move on is the most powerful act you could do. Remember, you are not forgiving them for them, you are doing it for you and your well- being and from there you will be able to either close the chapter or go to the next step on building your friendships which is:
6. Doing things together with your friends.
When you hang out with your friends often you get to know them even better than themselves at times. You know how they respond to good things and bad things. Consistency in spending quality time really helps to build that bond between you and connect to things at a deeper level. It will bring out the good in both of you and weakens the bad.
To conclude, there are many tips and ways to have genuine friendships but with these six tips at your fingertips, it will be easier and more fun. You will also be able to know how to categorize your friendships and have a go-to person in whatever you are struggling with or need help with at the moment. Now, I did do another article on intentional relationships which has some good tips too, Click here to dive deep because I believe those tips can also help in building genuine friendships.
Thanks for staying. Till next time.