Relationships are never easy. That is a phrase that I have heard continually throughout my life, both as a teenager and an adult. We hear how relationships take a lot of work, especially from both persons. However, some underlying issues always seem to plague many relationships.
Speaking your individual truths: it is very easy to always accept the easy road and smile and nod to everything but this is a grave error. As opposed to persons being honest about what they want, they can sometimes accept what they are given. Be bold enough to demand what you want out of your relationship and speak and own your truth. Many times we suffer in silence when we can just speak our mind and say exactly what we want from our partner. If your goals are to get married and have children, then say it. It makes no sense being in a situation where this is never going to be your partner’s intention.
Schedule date nights: date nights are very important especially for those business professionals who are always working. Pick a day that works best for each of you where you can sit back and relax without your cellphones getting in the way. Be present with each other. Turn the cellphones off or leave them in your purse or pocket away from view. Use the time to listen attentively to your partner, laugh, and talk about everything that you want to. Order dessert and reminisce about the day you first met but be present with each other.
Cheating: This is something that seems to be the destruction factor in many relationships. I believe that this happens when partners are not honest about their needs or they do not feel heard. It is never that the person does not love you anymore but more that they feel as if their opinions do not matter to you. This in turn leads them to seek acceptance from someone else. I have known of many relationships which did not end when the partner or partners cheated.
Be open to couple counseling: how many of us have heard from a partner, that we need to heal from past traumas? Within a relationship, we may sometimes feel unloved or unwanted and this can lead to false intuition and doubt. I think when a couple decides to talk openly about their issues with a counselor, it can root out a lot of underlying issues which could seek to destroy the relationship. This also ties into the concept of speaking and owning your truth.
Don’t have a one-sided relationship: match the efforts of your partner. Be willing to give as much as you accept. Celebrate each other’s occasions; especially birthdays and even throw in some surprises here and there. Treat your partner like the kings or queens that they are. Even though material gifts are sometimes seen as being meaningless it all boils down to effort and recognition.
In summary, be your partner’s sounding board and be as supportive as you could be. Speak your truth and stand behind what you want from each other. These are the essentials in maintaining what you have and building a firm foundation for a future.