Hard Choices? It’s one of those rare times that I actually have nothing concrete going through my mind; my brain feels completely useless. But, somehow, that’s a language I’ve come to understand, because I’ve been here, done this, numberless times before. It’s the same old script, just different actors; it needs no brains to foretell this particular future. When one observes the skies long enough, it is easy to predict the coming weather and to align oneself rightly.
I’m relocating 10 hours away, for a very long time at least. It’s a complete reset for me, a whole new life altogether. To uncomplicate the whole maze, we have found ourselves with two basic problems that we need to churn out urgent answers to. Firstly, she loves attention, a lot of it. That she wasn’t shy to admit from the very start. I have to say I appreciated the honesty though. The second is, my knees buckle around girls, particularly before charming personalities dressed in fine looks. It’s my one weakness, one I accommodate with zero effort. I’m not embarrassed, because it’s been ages since I embraced my haunting demons. Summing the two up leads to one inevitable result: the odds of us surviving are worse than the chances of the devil converting to God.
Strangely enough, we wangled our way to a mutual conclusion; it’s gonna go the way it’s gonna go. She said it first, then I concurred, but I could tell she didn’t really mean it; I could hear her heart screaming a contrary opinion. We’re both “comfortable” parking in that garage, but that unavoidable voice in my head keeps whispering to me what flavored bullshit all that is, because I know I just hung her out to dry, with no second thought. Life’s full of hard choices, but this isn’t one of them.