No one is born with all the qualities in the world, we all admit, don’t we? I’m from a small country of South Asia and in my short life, I have realized, here, we have glorified parents and parenthood so much that we have normalized their toxicity as well. To be honest, yes, parenthood does deserve to be applauded. But not all parents have learned the art of parenthood. Parenthood is arguably the most beautiful form of art. But not everyone is born an artist, are they?
South Asia is a beautiful part of the globe, at the same time, this place is the center of normalization of all sorts of stuff that can kill you mentally. But surprisingly, people are more concerned with judging others, mostly women, on what clothes they put on, how much makeup they put on, what time they come home, how loudly they laugh, how dark-skinned they are, how many boyfriends they have had and whatnot. And if you are from the West, probably you would be laughing while you read women are judged on how they handle their husbands’ wrong behavior with me. Here, you are supposed to tolerate everything. Your husband beats you up? Tolerate it. Your husband cheated on you? Must be due to some of your lacking. You guys got divorced? Ahh, the wife has failed to keep her husband. And can you believe these words come from the women’s parents too? Surprising, no?
I have been since my childhood, I have been given a smaller piece of cake than my brother. My brother has been given that one piece of chicken from last night, or even two. I got nothing because.. of no reason. I come from a very educated background. My mother does not have many academic degrees but she comes from an educated and progressive background too. No one would believe I have seen such stuff in my family. If my dad brought one packet of biriyani from the meeting, my mom would save that for my brother. Even after all these years, this thing has not changed. Lol when people say everything changes with time, I see, some things never do.
Am I talking too much about a small thing? Maybe. Maybe I sound spoiled. No, I’m not. You cannot be spoiled when you have silently cried after seeing your brother getting all the good food whereas you are a fat foodie. Here, girls are not supposed to be fat. Men can be, that’s alright for some surprising reason I have not understood yet.
I don’t have a lot of friends and I go through a lot of mental troubles now and then. Sometimes I feel probably going on a long drive late at night could make me feel better. Or probably hanging out with my friends late, or going for a sleepover would solve a part of my problems. But lol. I’m a girl. I’m a South Asian girl. I’m not supposed to go out for long and I have to be back by sunset because I could end up getting raped. Well, whenever there is a rape incident her, (which has got quite common over here, although did get a small break due to pandemic fear) the fingers are pointed at the victim, for her ‘dress up, ‘outing time’, ‘guy company’ and what not. NOBODY says how bad the rapist is. Because they got no time from judging the victim. And with every rape incident, parents shorten the deadline for the homecoming of girls, but not for the boys obviously. Why? They are the ones who rape. They are given no warning. They are never told, “If you get involved in any sort of disrespect towards any girl, it would be very bad for you”. Never. Why? Because they are boys and they can do anything, ” It’s in their blood”. Lol. I have heard this from a parent.
Parents here are only concerned about their sons’ results. Not his conduct or anything. He is gonna be the man of the house so gotta normalize everything this guy does? Lol.
I hope someday parents learn how to be parents, and friends to a daughter too. Real parents. No joke.
But for that, people need to know giving birth and ensuring education are not all about parenthood.