My Tinder- date! Surfing on the internet has become a hobby for most of us adventuring into relationships with handsome/beautiful strangers online. Like everyone else in the above category, I met Jake on a dating website. He was way cute with his sweet talk, charmingly handsome and I remember he even helped me solve a business issue at work, he had told me earlier he ran a family business that’s how we got along.
Four months down the road, I called him on the phone so that we could meet up sometime or grab dinner. He didn’t give me a straight answer at the start and promised to check on me later after freeing up space on his tightly parked working schedule.
I stayed positive about the situation. For the time we talked and chatted, sometimes I found myself thinking if he was my better half. I remember even downloading an app about how to text a guy. Most of the tips were helpful that most times he would video call me on Skype even when he was at work. We would exchange photos, crazy videos or sometimes it would be about business.
He finally agreed to my offer and the next thing I knew, I was booking a plane ticket to California where we were supposed to meet since he would be having a meeting there that week, he would also be traveling from Amsterdam.
Quite excited about meeting the European lad, I asked help from my best friend concerning what I should dress for that date.
I had never had any experience with going out with men so this was going to be the first time. It would be funny to admit to any party pooper type of gentleman that am one of those girls in high school that never attended any functions or house parties but simply kept myself cooped up in the room doing nothing except God-knows-what!
After hitting adulthood, I wanted to start living my youth before it was wasted away.
Shopping wasn’t my thing because I ordered most of the things online. But that Wednesday was going to be different since Anne was going with me.
7:45pm Saturday, we met at one of the Italian restaurants where he had made a reservation. Like any other gentleman, he greeted me with two kisses on my cheeks and even helped me settle down on the wooden chair.
He was way more handsome in person than in the photos I had seen. Amazingly deep-set electric blue eyes with honey blonde hair. I always had a thing for guys with blue eyes and this one too, got me drooling like an idiot. We had a good start with the conversation and I found out that we had many more things in common than I had thought. He loved traveling as I did; watching movies in the theatres, doing charity, and many more.
We hit it right until I asked him about marriage. I still remember asking; what’s your ideal view of a partner? If I told you am into a wifey mode, what would you think?
He stiffened up at the question and the conversation became rather awkward, thanks to me. I didn’t know why I asked him such a question but on the other hand, I wanted him to air out his thoughts. I come from a culture where it’s the girls who propose to the boys so I thought it wouldn’t make things worse if I threw the stone in the water.
The rest of the evening became a disaster since we had different opinions about the topic. To him, marriage was having a woman who would be a baby manufacturing machine while to me it was being equaled to your better half. He considered the alliance the way you would with a business partner. He would rather pay someone a hefty sum of money to carry his offspring or relieve his biological needs than being glued to one person who could offer all the above for the rest of his life.
We almost argued and I had to storm out of the place since we had started to attract attention from all the corners.
I remember unsubscribing from the website and not dating for a year until Anne sent me a book that changed my life, Messages to young people by Ellen G White. The tips therein changed everything I knew about dating and stuff.
Looking back, I realized the big mistake I had done and how I messed up an incredibly wonderful evening. Right now, there are things I will never do, and hope that you should not make the mistake I did.
First, being sexy on a date does not mean that you should dress something skimpy or showy which of course I had done and that was why he had kept staring at my bosom with a hawk-like-gaze. It’s about dressing in something you’re comfortable in that is not necessarily overly revealing.
Second, plan what you want to talk about with your date to avoid bumping into topics that could lead to a dead-end or an awkward atmosphere like I did. Don’t go for provocative topics like religion, race, or culture either.
Last but not least, humans will never appreciate something that they receive on a silver platter. Men like the chase so give it to him. He will want to first make sure that you are worth everything his putting at stake and all the sacrifice. So keep your standard high so that he will have to work for it.
Lastly, be in charge of the date and everything. If you invite your date somewhere, plan the activities you want to do with them, be precise yet sophisticated, make the date short but excitingly fun that the other party will want to hang around you again and may even end up proposing you go out on another date.
Until next time,
A lovely day to the readers.
