That morning I woke up with a heavy soul. Remembering the video that I watched, that as humans we need to allow ourselves to feel the sadness for us to appreciate the happiness. After that, I asked God to bless me to have a soft heart to understand, to accept, and to forgive those who hurt me.
In addition, I ask Him that I knew marriage is a contract in heaven and not just on earth and marriage is not an accident. At the same time, I hope He blessed my partner to be like Him. To call him the way He called me and if he is still looking to my husband I am now offering him. If my husband’s name is not written in the book in heaven. I ask God to protect us and don’t allow him to be the reason for my separation from Him.
I just let the day past and after a few days while washing the dishes. God showed me one omen and that is to trust Him. If God trusted my husband and my son. Who Am I, not to trust them. Even the hard-hearted Pharaoh is part of God’s plan. I always had a question in my mind. Why God made the Pharaoh hard-hearted (Exodus 7:3). but Thanks to God’s Spirit, He made me realize if God did not harden Pharaoh’s heart. Possible, the Israelites will not leave Egypt and they will not struggle to find the promised land. Therefore, I need to calm, and trust in God’s plan for the heart of a person can only be steered by God.
- My Cross
If this is the cross that God gave me. For sure, He will help me to carry it to my home in heaven. Similarly to the thorn in the flesh of St Paul (2 Corinthians 12:7-9). If this is God’s plan to serve him. Therefore, I am God’s servant to submit to His will and being God’s child hoping to go home and be a princess after hugging the King.