That ‘Not that understanding’ parent
Not having an understanding of a parent is a curse. Especially when you belong to a typical Asian family and you have to be around them for like 22 years of your life on average. Even if you move out for studies or get married, your parents’ house is your ultimate home. There is nothing bad in being in touch with one’s folks. But won’t it be better if the folks were a bit considerate?
Growing up, this parent (the one who is a bit less understanding) will never really get what makes you insecure or frustrated. And if he does, he is never gonna get away with his ‘why’. Take, for instance, a situation where your younger brother is good at, say, baking and you have just learned how to bake, and this parent prefers your younger sibling to bake for the guests, just because he had been doing it for a while. Now not explicitly, but the comparison is there. Right!
how this parent makes you frustrated and angry?
You might be okay with this; it also might be very disturbing for you depending on the type of person. You get frustrated or may be angry, but you know what? This parent is never gonna understand why exactly you are angry. He is going to maintain that you are making a fuss out of nothing!
Rules of understanding
The first rule of understanding somebody is: you don’t ask ‘why’ you question nothing. You listen. In the above example, if you go and discuss it with him and tell him that the fact that your parent does not trust you, makes you upset, guess how is he going to react? He would explain to you that your sibling is better than you in the following ways. Also, you’ll get to listen to the reasons why did he select your sibling for baking for the guests and not you. And you get even more frustrated!
I am not sure what it takes to be understanding, but I know one thing: it has very not very much to do with traditional education, might be to some degree with professional education such as medical. It may be related to what one goes through during his teens, or if he himself had such a parent, which makes him not to be one.
Or simply you have to be understanding to understand!