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Is it Really Worth Fighting for?

by Boluwatife Oricha

We’ve heard people say they fought through thick and thin for their love, we’ve also heard people say that they didn’t have much faith in their love. This somehow brings about the questions “Is it worth fighting for?”  Is that love so beautiful that you would be willing to do anything it takes to keep it going? Are you guaranteed that this flame of love wouldn’t burn out sooner or later?  Are you very sure this is true love or just as an entanglement as people say these days? If as a male or female, you’re not very sure of your answers to these questions or you can boldly say no to some of them, then maybe, just maybe this love doesn’t deserve the stress. In addition to that, the relationship also needs to be checked. Usually, relationship problems are rampant in the female gender, but truth be told it only seems so because the men hardly speak up about their relationship problems. As a man, Is that lady always manipulating you to do things the way she wants them? Is it always her way or the highway?  Some ladies tend to be possessive towards their men and they don’t even see it because they feel that’s their way of expressing love towards them.  As ladies, is that guy an embodiment of toxic masculinity? Does he emotionally blackmail you or make you feel less of yourself?

It may surprise you to know how many ladies put up with some of these unruly behaviors of men all in the name of love and them trying to save their heart, and also try to console themselves that a few confrontations here and there is them “Communicating” Love is meant to be beautiful and full of clouds that are clean and clear, but what happens when dark clouds come in and start to threaten the cleanliness and clarity of this love? Granted, all great love stories have always had their drawbacks and threats, but these threats are 100% devoid of rape and domestic abuse and yes, this also includes marriages and also goes for both genders. There’s something called marital rape, and it exists in marriages. The fact that you’re married to a person does not give you the right to be intimate when they do not consent. Most African countries do not recognize this fact, but it’s nice to see that some countries do acknowledge it’s existence and also the fact that some people have started the awareness of it. Is that love worth fighting for? Such questions should be directed to those people who face actual challenges in their relationships or their marriages or respective relationships, not those who are fighting tooth and nail for a love long lost.

Your partner cheats/Cheated?  Has he/she ever asked for your forgiveness and truly repented? Then that is a challenge that has been excellently overcome by both parties in the form of repentance and forgiveness respectively.  However, the problem begins when a partner continues cheating and the other continuously forgives without thinking.  The fact that your partner continues to cheat on you without making attempts at helping him or herself says a lot about their personality and how lowly they think of you. A person who continually disrespects you like that is trying to send a message across to you that you’re not what they need, you’re not enough for them or maybe they don’t even love you anymore. Best believe extraordinary toxic people who will make you feel like them cheating is your fault abound and if you’re a victim of this, it is about time that you help yourself out and seek healing while at it.

In love with someone who can’t get over an ex? Unless this ex is dead, it is best to know that there’s nothing worth fighting for in a relationship like that. That ex would always be a priority to your partner and it would only cause a series of heartbreaks for the parties involved. Please leave such relationships immediately.  At the end of the day, we all fight one battle or the other in our relationships, but the most important thing we need to do is to choose what sort of battles we need to fight in those relationships so we don’t go about fighting the wrong battles. Always remember:

  • Don’t fight for a love that you know within your heart is dead
  • Always trust your love as long as you’re sure it exists
  • Do not go through the pain all in the name of love
  • A cheating partner is a wicked partner, leave

I sincerely hope this article gets to whoever may need this at the time that person needs it.  A message needs to matter to one person at least for it to be reasonable. Shalom!

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