Did you meet a person who always forces his way to the arguments to consider his point as valid? Did you experience a conversation that continues for how long due to the two arguing standpoints? It can be a little tiring to talk out your ideas to the people whose minds are not open to new aspects. Winning an argument is not entirely a bad thing to do. It shows your position to stand on your point of view. It will also strengthen your resolve against false information, especially while browsing the Internet. But if used in the wrong time and place, it can also bring considerable disadvantages to communication that will produce repercussions at both ends.
In my experience, I also have this urge to push my ideas into other people’s insights. I was bothered by this feeling of being small compared to others when I have a wrong standpoint. I found myself wanting to win in every argument with my friends and even my parents. It is as if my dignity is on the line if I lose one. I discovered myself having a problem after I have noticed my deteriorating relations with the people around me. Now that I did a self-reflection, I could see myself on some certain people I have met. Despite the acts, I understand them since I am not innocent of such actions. Peers, in a romantic relationship or dealing with strangers, you must mind the consequences. Now, I am willing to share my thoughts about how to know when to win and when to listen.
Lend An Ear First, Not Run Your Mouth
With your peers, it is normal for an argument to show up every once in a while. Arguing with someone you know contributes to the healthy nourishment of your bonds. It emphasizes your friends’ deeper understanding since you can see their views on a specific subject different from yours. If you are trying to correct your friend out of concern, winning over them is
necessary to convince what is the right thing to do. But there are times you don’t need to battle through words against them; doing so will only affect your friendship.
Before you initiate your standpoints, you must give your peers a way to express their frustrations or concerns by listening. It would be best if you learned to lend an ear before opening your mouth for suggestions and corrections. A good friend is the one who looks first before he speaks because he prioritizes knowing his peer’s feelings than letting them know his feelings. Winning an argument with your peers only declines your understanding and only showcases a self-centered approach.
Team for Life Does Not Compete
In a romantic relationship, arguing with your lover is a vital part of maintaining a healthy relationship. A relationship without any arguments points out a somewhat secretive link. With the right discipline and knowledge with each other, your relationship proves to be promising.
But be careful, there are fatal disadvantages of arguing A LOT that may lead to undesired break-ups. Winning over an argument with your significant other is not the thing to win over! Proving your point to your SO will only make you sound, “I am right,” which is very immature in a relationship. Instead of focusing on who is at fault, you should use your energy to end an argument with your loved one.
Based on relate.org, an argument between couples are always mistreated. It is like an onion, and the surface is the subject of the disagreement. Meanwhile, the inner layer represents issues beneath the quarrel. By no means of fleshing out the problem, there will be no way to reveal the solution. It is all about, “I understand.” instead of “I’m right.” Keep your game of understanding and open-mindedness up. A relationship won’t last if it is all about competition, not cooperation. You are a team; keep that in mind.
Mind Your Own Business and Prolong your Patience
In life, it is inevitable to meet some people with a different ideology like yours. We live in a society of people with different experiences and beliefs in life. In conclusion, excellent communication is not a piece of cake to accomplish. It may cause an unwanted clash of ideals with someone you barely know. Winning over them becomes a vital objective since there is nothing to lose. As a result, you are likely to invest your energy into a stranger – a useless endeavor, I must say.
We have limited energy to waste in a day. It would help if you spent it on the essential tasks available to you. Arguing with someone can be a little impractical and time-consuming, especially if it is irrelevant for your development. Your body is set on fight-or-flight mode when arguing causes a depletion of energy that will leave you stressed out. It will take a toll of yourself without any gains in return. Why do convincing people a hard thing to accomplish? They are biased with the things to keep in their minds.
Does proving your point matters, especially towards everyone? As if their approval and thoughts can help you develop as a person. Level up your game! You do not need to win every argument presented to you because who cares? People only stick to their own beliefs. It is a fruitless pursuit of glory. People always gratify themselves through confirmation bias. They always filter the factors to consider and disregard the opposite claims, so getting through them is painful. Mind your own business. It is their life, and you have yours to care for. Approval of others and similar ideals are no means but a foolish errand.
Beneath the Reflection
If you are one of the people who are doing this, why do you bother? In my experience, my parents raised me to see everything before me in a competitive lens. I was assigned to hold my ground in debates and hone my knowledge in participating in discussions. I managed to get used to this feeling of being a know-it-all, so finding myself cornered in an argument drives me to win even if I am at fault. It gradually affects my relationship with my friends and family that I decided to change my ways for good. Are you like me too?
Win Over Yourself!
According to Winch (2017), many people tend to deny their mistakes because they treat it as a mental threat to their weak “psychological constitution.” Most people do it mostly for their ego to be left unscathed. Accepting they are wrong on the take would be a devastating feeling, so their defense mechanism would do something to avoid it. As a result, hard denial will turn into an argument with one another.
It is a fight to cover up their insecurities so they must emerge victors on their own game. Keeping up a solid stance of discipline and understanding is no easy feat in talking to someone. But with the overwhelming sense of self and concern to others, you will manage to avoid unnecessary disputes.
Are you planning to win every argument to maintain self-gratification? Have a second thought!.
“The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.”
- Dale Carnegie