Signs of a lack of self-confidence
People who are not confident in themselves constantly devalue themselves, and often do not imagine that others can find qualities in them. Lack of confidence simply prevents them from taking initiative and moving forward. You don’t believe in what you do, so what’s the point of trying. We are therefore missing out on a lot of opportunities!
In other cases, on the contrary, insecure people play a role, pretending to feel more comfortable, and construct an image that is fundamentally lacking in authenticity. These people also encounter difficulties in finding the path that really suits them and thus taking charge of their lives.
But above all, self-confidence must allow you to think independently and act more freely. Enough to give relationships with others a more authentic and fulfilling character.
How to enhance your self-image?
Define your own identity
To gain self-confidence, the first thing to never lose sight of is that you have a full identity. That is to say, you have to have a clear idea of who you really are: a unique person, with their passions, character, sensitivity, tastes …
And its strengths
Then, we try to highlight his strengths, his know-how: his capacity for organization, his listening skills, his culinary talents …, because there is inevitably an area in which one feels more at ease than ‘other. Do not hesitate to list your qualities on a white sheet, to integrate them well.
Free yourself from parasitic judgments
It is also necessary to disengage from the judgments perceived (often wrongly) in childhood or adolescence. Very often the insecurity stems from the gaze or negative words addressed during this time. And we are very often the most severe judges of ourselves … So kindness towards oneself is essential.
The 5 keys to self-confidence
We must give ourselves the right to have opinions, thoughts, actions. And appropriate them without ever denigrating or denying them. So on a daily basis, we force ourselves to give our opinion in a conversation, even if it goes against what others think, and even if we imagine that it is of no interest. Try it first in a small committee, for example with your family, then when you feel more comfortable, express your opinion in front of your friends. Last step: at the office, in front of your colleagues during the meeting.
2- The affirmation
Be genuine in your relationships, and don’t try to distort reality in order to please. You cannot copy your attitude onto that of others, because everyone has their own unique way of speaking. Example: buy the clothes you really like instead of always copying your girlfriend Charlotte’s look! Dare to tell your lover that you did not like this horror film that he nevertheless adored.
3- set goals
Take on mini challenges every day. To do this, you have to know your abilities and limits by setting achievable goals. Take it gradually, step by step, increasing the difficulty. Then observe the results to recognize what needs to change, and adjust.
Looking back on your failures also allows you to assess what went wrong, and thus avoid reproducing mistakes.
4. Positive thinking
Without going overboard, it is about knowing how to be positive. And to value his actions, his experiences with a benevolent gaze.
The “Furiously Happy” movement, launched by Jenny Lawson to “be furiously happy, out of pure revenge”, is a solution. So, for years, she chose to say yes to all the most unexpected experiences in order to celebrate life.
When you have to bitch, when you sink into negative thoughts, ask yourself: why is it so negative with you? What if this was your best friend, would you be so harsh in your judgment?
5- Confront the situations
Instead of continually running away from uncomfortable situations, confront them and move on. Do not lower your gaze as soon as you look at you, answer and restart the discussion when a stranger starts a conversation … The whole point is to have new experiences in order to, little by little, better understand these distressing situations.
Know that the grass is not necessarily greener in others. And change your outlook on yourself..