HANG IN THERE
Its 19th April 2020. The clock has struck past midnight and I’m sitting here with a piece of paper and my phone in my hand, wondering what life lesson I should jot down to preach.
I decide to do the exact opposite. Let my anecdote of life not be a sermon, let it be a breath of fresh air!
I remember 9 months ago, I sat on the same floor, a doomsday feeling wondering what hurricane had blown past me, the absolute hour of existential crisis. You know there is nothing more heart-breaking in the world than to see the promise of a happily ever after and I’ll always be there for you, be reduced to a mere basket of shallow vows. Nothing more cynical than learning to unlearn what good you have been taught all your life. Nothing more devastating than being betrayed, losing trusting how to trust. I was at a crossroads in my life where I needed to seek redemption, resurrection again, hope for nirvana. Personal and professional accomplishments all swept away. We have all had those moments, where you feel dead before you die for real. Never knew how moments mean so much to us humans, one moment we are champions, the next we are dust. The detail of that ordeal is insignificant, what matters only is that many of you face such circumstances in life. Relationships that are meant to last forever all turned to pieces, my Cinderella story all down the drain. I am a doctor by profession and medicine ran in my veins so there was nothing more frustrating and suffocating than to give up a career my bones and flesh loved. The biggest misery in life is to come across a tragedy no one can relate to or understand.
As days went by, time started to heal old wounds but I found it hard to get it together. The heroin me always saving the world needed to save herself. I have a good lot of friends. They told me to hang in there. Does it get better from here? No one knows but hangs in there.
They say it’s always the survival of the fittest, the first step however is self-love. You always owe yourself the most. No one ever has a chance in life, who is sentenced to death in the court of his conscience every day. We all are sinners. We all have made mistakes. Repentance, however, is a blessing. If you had your chance today, remember no sin is ever big enough to be erased, no sin ever beyond forgiveness. To the deadbeat sinner exploring his options again, just hang in there.
To the abused wives of cheating husbands, the loyal men of mistreating wives, to the torn children of broken families and the disappointed parents of misbehaving children, to the girls battling rejection and the boys getting rejected, to the women being harassed, to the men subjected to unjustified slander, just hang in there.
As a doctor, my patients meant the world to me. Dying is a painful experience. To watch someone die, even more. Even amidst the chaos, the fatigue, the reckless exhaustion, and the wearing hope, my heart always used to remind me, hang in there.
To the mothers bidding farewell to their dead children, the soldiers losing the fight of survival, the diseased warriors waving their final goodbyes, the escalating depression consuming life, the toxic relationships destroying inner peace, the fading ambitions and dead motivations, as long as life is taking its dying breaths on a ventilator, just hang in there.
A friend used to tell me happiness is relative. The chaos never settles. Nothing lasts forever. There is an end to everything. To happiness, to love, and even to pain. You find happiness on your own. We find a million ways to despair. Let’s find one reason today to hope and just hang in there. We all are born with a destiny different from one another. Everything we across in life has a reason behind it, a lesson to teach us. Our miseries are never pointless and our tragedies never vague. Every experience arouses an unknown and undiscovered strength in ourselves that we were never familiar with. I am a survivor of hate, of distrust, of mental abuse and career theft. I am not happy but I am strong. I live every day with a hope that one day it shall all change. Death is an easy escape. Living is hard. The choices are always ours and our choices determine who we are and what we shall be. Live to make the right choice, even if it’s not an easy fight.