Whether toxic words are meant to inflict pain or not, they can leave marks in memory for life. Such blunt comments may be coming from loved ones like parents. To a lot of people the harm can be life-altering, so imagine if it was a child. How parents raise their children and act around them creates the basic foundation that develops their personality and self-esteem.
Maltreatment of children can have significant emotional effects down the road. Emotional child abuse is an often overlooked type of trauma that can affect the developing brain of a child, leading to long-term learning disabilities, disruptive habits, and increased incidences of physical and mental health problems. Children’s emotional abuse can be the most damaging form of maltreatment, affecting both their emotional and physical health and their social and cognitive development.
There are a variety of things that toxic parent say to their children, but based on personal experience of my childhood and that of other people, Here are a few:
1- Offensive words toward the appearance:
”You are ugly/fat/short/skinny.”
”You have ugly hair.”
2- Provocative questions toward actions:
”Why do you act so weird?”
”Why do you walk/chew/move/ talk like that?”
3- Toxic wishes:
”I wish you were never born.”
”I wish I had an abortion.”
”I regret having you.”
”I wish you were a different child.”
4- Making a kid feel like a burden:
”You cost me a lot of money.”
”It’s so hard to take care of you.”
”Having you exhausts me.”
5- Toxic comparison:
”Why aren’t you like your sibling/cousin/the other kids?”
”The other kids are way better than you.”
6- Verbal abuse:
”You are stupid/ failure/loser.”
”You will never make it.”
”I will leave you.”
”You will wake up and never find me.”
”I will disappear.”
8- Empty promises:
”If you do this, I will buy you that”
”I will take you there next time.”
Other than that actions can be toxic too. Toxic Parents are:
– Emotionally reactive
– Harsh and Aggressive
– They find fault with everything
– They expect you to drop everything to tend to their needs
– They intrude on your personal space and don’t accept that you’re a grown adult who is completely separate from them.
– Not only do they always need to be right, but they also act as they compete with you.
– They twist the truth to make themselves look good.
Toxic parents cause their children a lot of pain and enduring psychological problems. The good news is that the consequences of toxic parents can be surmounted. The first step is to be aware of what it means to have a toxic parent and recognize the particular dysfunctional or emotionally unhealthy ways your parents’ function.